We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize