the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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