I can't watch pbs sober anymore
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
