Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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