Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
