that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Randomize
