Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
