Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
