I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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