Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
