so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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