While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Well I just put wine in my tea
Can you bring me the toilet please
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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