i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
He called his prostate his "boner button".
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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