i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
