he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
