ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
