I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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