We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
