Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
