my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize