I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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