Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
This is classic penis vs brain.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Randomize
