That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
