so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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