I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
