God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
