yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
