Yo dont text me then not text me
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
