I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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