I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
We left an ass print on the piano.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
