He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
