fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Randomize
