Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
