Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
