kristin has been a bad kristin
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize