We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize