His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
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