im six kinds of drunk right now
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
