is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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