some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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