I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
