just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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