I wanna bring you to show and tell
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I am naked and annoyed.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
