sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
