umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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