I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
