Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
