im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
