Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
