i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
