the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
