Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
