She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize