he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
