Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
