He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
