There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
