I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
