Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
