Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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