God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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