the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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