That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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