Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
