everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
