I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
