i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
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