I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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